Why Does My Mom Think It's Okay to Overshare Everything?

It can be incredibly frustrating when a parent shares personal information that you feel should remain private. This behavior can stem from various reasons, such as communication styles, cultural norms, a desire to build connections, or a lack of awareness of personal boundaries. Understanding these underlying factors can help you approach the situation more effectively.

Communication Styles

Some people naturally communicate in a more open and expressive way. For them, sharing personal stories can feel like a way to connect with others and feel understood. This style of communication might not align with your comfort levels, leading to conflicts.

Cultural Norms

In some cultures or communities, sharing personal information is more common and accepted. This can influence your mother's behavior, making her believe that sharing is the norm.

Seeking Connection

Your mother might be trying to build relationships or find common ground with others by sharing personal stories. She may believe that sharing fosters intimacy and trust, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

Lack of Awareness

Some individuals simply do not understand the boundaries of privacy and might not realize that what they share could make you or others feel uneasy. This lack of awareness can lead to unintentionally intrusive behavior.

Generational Differences

Attitudes toward privacy can vary significantly between generations. What was acceptable in her upbringing might differ from your expectations, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.

Desire for Support

At times, people share personal details in hopes of receiving advice or support, believing that it might help others relate to her or provide insights. However, this can backfire if the information alienates or angers others.

Addressing the Issue

If this behavior bothers you, it might be helpful to have an open conversation with her about your feelings and establish some boundaries regarding what you’d prefer to keep private.

For instance, my mother got so into the habit of oversharing that she even set up an appointment for me to go in for an exorcism, which I dismissed as unfounded. She became quite contemplative after my dramatic response, and we both knew I would not stand for further invasions of privacy.

More recently, in May, I experienced an anaphylactic shock after taking two Excedrin Extra-Strength pills. My husband saved me, and I was unconscious in the hospital for four days. In a twist of irony, this event granted me newfound appreciation from my mother. Yet, it served as a reminder to hold firm with my boundaries.

Remember, it's important to remain calm and empathetic during such conversations. Setting clear boundaries can help prevent unwanted invasions of your privacy and maintain a healthy relationship.

Action Steps:

Have an open and honest conversation with your mother about the impact of her oversharing. Set clear boundaries and communicate what you expect to keep private. Seek support from other family members or friends if needed. Be prepared to hold firm and not back down, as your comfort and privacy are important.

By addressing the issue head-on and maintaining a respectful dialogue, you can navigate this challenging situation and maintain a healthy, peaceful relationship with your mother.