How to Approach Your Curly-Haired Friend About Hair Styling Without Causing Harm

When discussing personal choices like hair styling, it's important to approach the conversation with sensitivity and care. In this article, we will explore the steps you can take to have a meaningful and respectful conversation with your curly-haired friend about their hair styling habits. We will also delve into why it's crucial to respect their choices and why it might be better to keep some opinions to yourself.

Choosing the Right Time and Place

Approaching this topic effectively requires finding the right time and place. Identify a private and comfortable setting where your friend feels safe and unguarded. This can help ensure that they open up and engage in a thoughtful dialogue. Set the stage for a conversation that is as comfortable and supportive as possible.

Expressing Your Concern

Start by expressing that you care about their well-being. It's essential to frame your conversation in a positive light. You might say:

"I've been thinking a lot about you and your recent hair changes. I wanted to discuss it because you're so important to me, and I want to understand how you're feeling."

Compliment Their Natural Hair

Before bringing up your concerns, remind them of how beautiful their natural curls are. This can help set a positive tone for the conversation. Suggest:

"You know, I think your natural hair is stunning. It really complements your personality and style."

Sharing Your Perspective

Explain why you might believe they shouldn't straighten their hair. Emphasize the potential damage from heat styling or how embracing their natural texture could boost their confidence. You can share:

"I've noticed that heat styling can be tough on curly hair, and it might lead to breakage and other issues. I think your natural curls add so much to your look and personality."

Being Supportive

Reassure your friend that you support them no matter what. Make it clear that your intention is not to control their choices but to encourage them to embrace their natural beauty. Affirm:

"My intention is to support you and help you feel confident. If you enjoy straightening your hair, that's fine. I believe you can still look beautiful and feel great either way."

Listening to Their Thoughts

Be open to hearing their perspective. They may have reasons for straightening their hair that you weren't aware of. Actively listen without interrupting, and consider their points of view. Be genuinely interested in their thoughts and feelings. Encourage:

"Tell me more about why you straighten your hair. I want to understand your perspective better."

Following Up

After your conversation, check in with them later. This shows that you care and are genuinely interested in their well-being. You can say:

"I hope you're doing well. We can chat again if you want to see how things are going."

When to Keep Opinions to Yourself

Unless your friend has asked for your opinion, it might be best to keep unsolicited opinions to yourself. It's unkind and inappropriate to offer your critique, whether it be concerning hairstyles, clothing, religious beliefs, or anything else. Respect their choices and privacy.

Take some time to ask yourself a few hard questions:

How would you feel if one of your well-meaning friends decided to talk to you about your hair or other parts of your appearance? How would you feel if a family member or a loved one talked to you about your hair type, texture, color, length, or style? Even if they seemed sincere and appeared to really care about you, would you feel that they were being unfair, overly critical, or even putting you down in some way?

Hair is a very strong indicator of a person's uniqueness, personality, and true essence. For anyone, whether it be a well-meaning friend or a loving family member, to tell them to stop doing whatever they wanted to their hair, straightening it or curling it, or styling it in any way they desired, might cause bad feelings. Some people feel very blessed to have naturally textured or curly hair, while others absolutely hate it.

If your friend feels better about themselves when they straighten their hair, then they should do what makes them feel great for whatever reason. Maybe if you talk to your friend to encourage them to stop straightening their hair, they will be okay with your opinion. Or maybe they won't, and it could cause cracks in your friendship. Do you want to risk losing her friendship over expressing an opinion about her hair that she may resent?

If you truly love and care about your friend, think whatever you want in your own mind but don't speak the words out loud to your friend. She has to be who she is, and if that means straightening her curls, love her unconditionally and focus on something else in the world that might need your help and support.

Best wishes to you.