Is It Okay to Feel Attracted to Other Women When Married and Mid-40s?
The journey through life is complex and varied, especially during significant transitions like mid-life. Many individuals find themselves reconsidering their existing relationships as their lives unfold. One common question that emerges is: Is it okay to feel attracted to other women when you are married and have children in your early 40's?
The Nature of Attraction
It is a widely recognized truth that human beings are designed to seek connections and desires.
“The only men who don’t have a roving eye are usually dead,” often serves as a reminder that feeling attracted to others is a natural part of human experience.
My wife once shared a perspective with me: “It may even be good for the marriage get your appetite where you may but come home to satisfy it.”
Considering Acting on Attraction
While attraction is a natural part of life, acting on these feelings can have significant consequences. However, personal context plays a crucial role in how one navigates these emotions. For instance, one person might argue that it is entirely reasonable to engage in an extramarital affair only if their spouse consents to and engages in a similar arrangement. This idea grants mutual freedom and removes feelings of betrayal.
“If your wife acted on her attractions to others, how would that make you feel?”
Self-Reflection and Mutual Consent
However, some might advocate for placing oneself in their partner's shoes and considering if the outcome of such an arrangement would be acceptable. This approach emphasizes mutual understanding and clear communication.
Consider the perspective of estrangement and how it might affect both you and your spouse. Estrangement can lead to marital dissatisfaction and feelings of isolation. Therefore, any decision should take into account the infidelity and the overall impact on the relationship.
Managing Attraction Constructively
However, one need not act on these attractions. Instead, channeling this energy into improving one's current relationship can be highly beneficial.
“We can’t control to whom we are attracted. Attraction is a force of nature. It is what we do about it that matters.”
By acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, without acting on them, individuals can maintain the integrity of their marriage and focus their energy on strengthening the bond with their partner.
“Look but don’t touch and put that energy into your partner.” This approach ensures that the relationship remains strong and builds mutual trust and understanding.
In conclusion, while attraction is a natural part of human experience, the decision to act upon it should be made carefully, considering the values and needs of both partners. Constructive strategies can help maintain marital satisfaction and preserve the integrity of the relationship.