Why Physical Appearance Shouldn't Dictate Your Relationship

When you first meet someone, their physical appearance can often be the first thing that catches your eye. However, it's important to remember that good intentions and compatibility often weigh more than looks in the long run. In this article, we will explore why physical appearance shouldn't dictate your judgment of whether someone is worth pursuing and how to embrace a more meaningful approach to relationships.

Physical Attraction vs. Emotional Compatibility

Let's consider the first scenario you mentioned: ‘I really like this guy but I think he is kinda ugly. Is it bad that I think that?’ From a psychological standpoint, our initial attraction to someone might be based on physical appearance. However, as you spend more time getting to know them, their looks become less of a significant factor in your relationship satisfaction. In fact, it's more important to focus on emotional and intellectual compatibility.

Overcoming the “Not Good Enough” Mentality

Another point you raised is: 'The reason it makes you feel mean is that it is mean. Either you like him for who he is or you're hoping to “change” him, which is mean.' This sentiment is often driven by a desire to see someone as 'better.' However, emotionally and relationally, it's important to accept people for who they are, recognizing that change is internal and personal. Expressing a desire for someone to 'improve' might come across as critical and can harm the relationship.

Physical Attraction and Its Evolution

A natural concern is whether physical attraction will grow over time. The good news is that it often does. For instance, while you might not be currently physically attracted, there are cases where this attraction deepens with familiarity and time. This evolution of attraction can be both positive and enriching for the relationship.

Ignoring Unhelpful Opinions

When others criticize someone's looks, it can be tempting to listen and dismiss the person you have feelings for. However, it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and not be a slave to others' opinions. Your feelings matter, and if you truly like someone, it's important to pursue that relationship. Their looks are not as important as their character, values, and compatibility with you.

Embracing Your Standards

Ultimately, you should not base your relationship choices on external validation. If you like someone and they treat you well, then they are someone worth keeping. Life is short, and you owe it to yourself to live your life for your personal happiness and fulfillment, not for others' expectations.

Conclusion

Physical appearance should not be the sole criterion for deciding whether to pursue a relationship. What truly matters is the compatibility, shared values, and the quality of emotional connection. Embrace who you are and the unique characteristics that make you love someone, and prioritize your own well-being in everything you do.

Keywords: relationship, attraction, self-confidence